people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
