Your face is a jimmy john
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize