i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
