Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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