i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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