I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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