take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize