kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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