she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
