Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
