i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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