He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
