so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
