If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
