Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
