Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
