At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
