I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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