Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
