if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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