I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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