After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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