Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
