My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
