I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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