Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
