hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
