So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
