Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
