If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
