so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
