I hate your face
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
