wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
