sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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