the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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