please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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