good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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