Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
