They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
