Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you would pick up someone in the library
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
