I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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