I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I think people are normalizing furries
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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