hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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