Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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