that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
