You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
