the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
