OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize