I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
