I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
