I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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