I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
