bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
do herpes really smell.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
My feet surprised me
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
