Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize