I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
