Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
