I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
