why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
