My hair reeks of homosexuality.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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