..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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