I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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